Please, Sir . . . Don't Give Me Any More

I don't know why, but for some reason pasty gruel is the first food you have to feed your baby. I guess it's easy to swallow and easy to digest and yadda, yadda, yadda. But, it tastes like crap. I know. I tried some. I suppose a baby has nothing to compare it to and might be fooled into thinking it's something tasty. Not our babies, though.

For the sake of fairness, the photo up top is Molly and this video is Emma.

*That noise you hear in the video is our dryer. Sorry!

Awwwwwww

Emma cried for an hour straight. The kind of crying that makes you want to bash your head against the wall. The kind of crying that keeps your already difficult to get to sleep 2 year old from slumbering in the next room. The kind of crying that wakes her momentarily angelic twin sister up and makes her start screeching in unison. And then, just when you think you can't take it anymore and you can feel the brain aneurysm coming on . . . this happens . . .



Sorry for not posting lately. I find I am busier than I ever imagined possible. I'm going to make a concerted effort to post more often - I hope. I have the best of intentions with a great many things in my life, but I never seem to accomplish much.

Also, sorry the video is so dark - it was supposed to be bedtime!

Glad I Didn't Spend the $200

Guess I don't really have to pay these people $200 to find out if the girls are identical or not.

Sorry I've been out of touch for so long. I started back to work in the middle of December and things have been sort of crazy since then. Everyone's fine but we're all tired and a little cranky and the holidays damn near killed us all. It was hard enough to adjust to our new routine of me going to work and Steven caring for all three kids solo during the day, but then a 4 day trip to my parents' house for Christmas really threw things off kilter. There were endless visitors and parties and missed naps and I felt like I had to be up Logan's butt 24/7 to make sure he didn't break anything or set anyone's house on fire. Or steal anyone's keys. Or eat the plastic decorative fruit. Or chug-a-lug someone's abandoned cocktail. Or climb someone's Christmas tree. Or jump on someone's glass table. Or hug-tackle any of the other children. Or manhandle all the bowls of nuts/candy/eggnog.

Christmas was stressful this year.

And then, with Christmas almost over and visions of piling everyone and everything into the minivan and taking off for New Hampshire dancing in our heads, Logan had to fall on the stairs and bust open his lip. A split lip makes a lot of blood. And an overtired and oversugared little boy who has just split his lip makes a lot of noise. But the bleeding stopped fairly quickly and something shiny or furry or bouncy caught Logan's attention and he was fine again. Of course, I nervously retraced his steps and wiped up the bloody fingerprints he left on my aunt's walls and floors. And then I think I had a glass of wine to calm myself and in that amount of time Logan managed to completely drench himself by sitting in the bathroom sink and turning on the water full force. Yes. He is such a buzzkill.

So, we changed him into dry clothes and threw all our loot and all our kids into the minivan and headed out on our long trek home. I insisted we use my phone's GPS to get us home - and I will never use that goddamn thing ever again. It took us through the heart of Boston and we did not get home until midnight. We left at eight. It should take about an hour and half . . . you do the math. Yeah. Steven was LOVING me and my crappy GPS while we were sitting at a standstill in Boston for two hours on Christmas night. Good times, good times. Logan cried and screamed. Emma cried and screamed. Molly cried and screamed. Steven peed in an old Dasani bottle. I quietly wept in the front seat.

Isn't Christmas magical?

Silly Girls

But Do They Come In Leopard Print?

So, remember my last post when I talked about the glasses I ordered? They came today and they are FABULOUS!! I am so excited. The frames aren't as large as my last pair (bought in 1998), so that is taking some getting used to, but they are lovely and stylish and I can see so much better with this newer prescription.



I think I'm kind of obsessed with these cheap eyeglasses. Who wouldn't be? You can have a pair for every mood. You can get multiple colors. You can have a pair for work and a pair for play. You are not paying $300 a pair, you can have as many pairs as you want!! The ones I bought were $29 with a coupon code, but I just ordered two more pairs from a different store for $8 and $10. Can you believe that? FUN!!

Mmmmmm . . . Muffin Top

So, I will be returning to work in less than two weeks. I am freaking out. My husband works from home and will be taking care of all three kids by himself while I am at work. He is an excellent father, but my god. I cannot imagine taking care of all three of them by myself. If anyone can do it, he can, but I just hope he doesn't go completely mental in the process.

I am also worried about something much more trivial and selfish. Dude. What the hell am I going to wear to work? I have major stomach pooch. And twin skin. I look maybe 4 months pregnant. I can force myself into some pre-pregnancy pants but the muffin top I get is horrendous. I can wear maternity pants but who the hell wants to do that. And I'd be sort of embarrassed if anyone saw that I was still wearing maternity clothes. I thought I could get away with that after having Logan and one of my co-workers exclaimed that my pants were "too big in the butt." Granted, she's about as mature as this year's Beaujolais Nouveau, but still. Nothing really fits. I just placed an order with Old Navy for some el cheapo post-pregnancy clothes but I have no idea if I bought the right sizes or not. Probably not seeing as how their stuff seems to be made for anorexic 12 year olds.

Also, I bought a new pair of glasses! It was kind of an impulse buy. I saw this little blurb about cheap online glasses and I thought "hey, why not?" and I quick as a bunny found my OLD, OLD, OLD prescription and ordered me up a pair. Hey, I've had my current glasses since 1999. Yes. They are 8 years old. I bought this new pair from 39dollarglasses.com . . . and they were $29. How can that be? Well, I found a coupon code for $10 off. Now I ask you, who can beat that??