Monday, October 29, 2007

Things I Haven't Told You

1. They shave you down there when you have a c-section. With an electric razor. It tickles.

2. You cannot leave the hospital after a c-section until you have farted. And every nurse, doctor, and cleaning lady who enters your room will ask you for a status report.

3. The nurse who was in charge of getting me prepped for my surgery bore an uncanny resemblance to my deceased grammy. As soon as I figured out who she reminded me of I knew everything and everyone was going to be okay.

4. I cannot shake the fear that my incision is going to open up and half my insides are going to fall onto my feet. No suede shoes for me!

5. Colace is my God.

6. I spend a total of 8 hours a day breastfeeding.

7. I have envisioned super-gluing the twins' pacifiers to their mouths.

8. We cannot all go out as a family together because you can't fit 3 carseats into the Honda Civic. Thus, I have not left the house in almost a month.


Kathleen said...

Good Lord... why do they shave you? If it were me, I would ask them to just give me a nice bikini wax, and to do my legs while they were at it. Especially if I could not feel my legs during the process.

But I would die if people kept asking me if I had farted yet.

Jules said...

Yes, as nurses ALL of your bodily functions are the utmost importance to us.

Lou said...

Kathleen, I WISH they shaved me after being given the epidural, but no.

Julie, I am completely in awe of people like you who take care of whiny cry-babies like me. Seriously. You couldn't pay me enough to have to clean up a stranger after they've given birth.

Jules said...

Yes, but I am in awe of people like you who have given birth and take care of ACTUAL babies who cry!

But actually I have a question for you, and all mothers. Your comments about being embarrased about being asked if you had farted yet made me think. As health care providers, it is critical we know this information. Once you have passed gas, we know that your digestive system is working after the anesthesia. Believe me, it is FAR less embarrassing to be asked about your flatulence, then not knowing your GI tract isn't working. Then you can get really nasty things like impacted feces, and you don't even want to know how we treat that. So my question is: What can we do as nurses to make you less embarrased about asking such personal questions. Is it better to use medical terminolgy (passed gas, had flatulence)? Was it the way that you were asked? Seriously, I am curious! Cuz I will be asking MANY more women the same question, and would love to do it in the least embarrasing way for them!

Also, you totally rock and I am so amazingly impressed and amazed by you!!!

Lou said...

Honestly, I wasn't that embarrassed by being asked if I had passed gas or not - I was just surprised they were asking. You know what would have been nice? If they had told me why they were asking . . . it wasn't until I got home that I was able to Google it and find out exactly why they kept asking me about my gas. Oh, and about the impacted feces . . . you don't even want to know . . . let's just say I had to get awfully familiar with myself around day eleven.

Jules said...

Oh NO! Sorry to hear that! :) Yikes..on yourself.
But note taken about telling patient WHY you need to know all about their bodily functions!